Contrails: Jun '26, Week 3

Minerva Murasaki
Jun 22
6 min read

Updated: Jul 6

Been a busy week! I shall get straight into it!

🌙 Work as Minerva 🌙

Spent almost the whole week editing vocals. I take a lot of time because I don't trust myself to know what is "musically acceptable" as "creative flair", so I spend a lot of time surgically tuning and timing every syllable. 🥹 I still have a lot more to do, so I'd like to get back to work as soon as this blog entry is done!

Also recorded vocals for another collab. cover over the weekend, so now I have even more to edit. 💀 I'm hopeful that I would be able to complete enough lines for Yuraia to do a simple mix (of both songs) for our friend to reference during practice. I'm looking forward to seeing, and working with, her again! 💜

Speaking of collabs, the highlight of the week has got to be the release of my cover of magnet -recall- with Ari! 💜🤍

https://youtu.be/6FpfyRWStZM

I'm glad that AMEDOGGU-san was the one to paint us together. 🥹💜

A little story time since this is finally out in the wild!

Back when Ari was still in SG, way before the announcement that Minato-P had plans to remake Magnet, and before Ari and I got closer, we actually had plans to do a dance cover for this song. We met up to practice together, bought outfits, but scrapped the idea in the end. I can't remember if the problem was because Ari's outfit didn't turn out well, if I lost motivation because I enjoyed dancing on a stage more than for a camera, or if time and silence led us to agree that it was better to let go. Back then, I often found myself yearning for a partner/ team to create with, but it was difficult to feel a sense of belonging/ a strong connection with anyone. I became someone with the tendency to suggest collaborations, but never went through with any of them. 🥺💔 Felt shameful, to be honest.

When I first took on the name "Minerva", Ari and I collaborated on music covers a few times. Working together, I realized that Ari had what it took to go way further than I ever could - the years of music training, and drive to respond to what her heart tells her. So I decided that instead of trying to walk with her, that I'd walk behind her. I learned Adobe After Effects because I hoped to one day be able to make nice animated music videos for her. I learned Ableton Live because I hoped to one day be able to make backing tracks that aren't just piano for her to use. I learned to use Airtable to take off the mental load of data entry during project planning so that she could focus on what she does best. In these endeavors I figured that it'd be well worth the effort because I get to make something for myself too.

But as her community, circles of friends, and online presence grew, the more distant I felt. I didn't belong, and I still didn't. I felt less like a shadow and more like a stalker. Yet despite it all, I knew that in her eyes that I was irreplaceable. I am my own person, and I needed to thrive on my own in recognition of her good will.

So when magnet -recall- was released, I sent her the cover assets provided by Minato-P and said, "My voice will destroy the song [...] I'm thinking it'd be a nice collab song for u and anyone!" 🙃 I hoped that she would work with someone her community would be excited to see. But when another friend wanted to cover the song with me, I got stuck in a bind. I knew that my voice blended better with that friend, and we'd probably make a nice cover together, but it also felt like a major disservice to my past with Ari.

After some discussions with all parties involved, Ari and I agreed to cover this song together. A part of me felt that I would be wasting both of our time, but another part wanted to do us justice. So I tried my best to make it work despite my inner saboteur whispering things like,

"You're not good enough to sing with her,",

"Your voice will stick out like a sore thumb because you don't put in effort to be a better singer,",

"Even if you try to match her you'll never compliment her,",

"You should just put in minimal effort since the end product is going to be terrible regardless, thanks to your unrefined involvement."

But her satisfaction in the end made it all worth it.

The irony of it all was that the song lyrics, and being assigned Megurine Luka's lines in consideration of our vocal tone, adequately summed up the thoughts that went into this project... Excluding the elements about physical desire, that is!!!

These were my lead lines, with my thoughts (translation from Vocaloid Lyrics Wiki):

[...] 絡み合う指ほどいて Untangle our entwined fingers 唇から舌へと From lips to tongue 許されない事ならば If it's forbidden, 尚更燃え上がるの It only burns hotter

Deep down, I wanted to believe that just because it seemed like no one around us cared that I was her friend, that it made the friendship special. Maybe I knew her better than the public eye, since no one seemed to associate her with me.

[...] 束縛して　もっと必要として Restrain me, need me more 愛しいなら執着を見せつけて If you love me, show me your obsession

I believe that being remembered and called upon shows that you're of value to someone. But while I only reach out to the people I want to keep close, I know that's not the norm. So to me there's no greater display of appreciation than to be told that someone needs/ wants my involvement/ presence in their day.

「おかしい」のが　たまらなく好きになる I grow to love the madness 行けるトコまで行けばいいよ Let's go as far as we can

I don't know for how long I can stay useful, entertaining, or special. But until then I quietly listen, smile, and worry as she takes on all the different endeavors she's set her eyes on. It's her journey, after all.

[...] 繰り返したのは　あの夢じゃなくて What we repeated wasn't a dream 紛れも無い現実の私達 But our undeniable reality 触れてから　戻れないと知る Once we touch, we can't go back— それでいいの誰よりも大切なあなた And that's fine… You're more precious than anyone

Circumstances have changed. The nature of our relationship has changed. And that's fine.

[...] 引き寄せて　マグネットのように Draw me in, like a magnet 例えいつか離れても巡り会う Even if we part, we'll meet again 触れていて　戻れなくていい　それでいいの Touch me, no turning back—that's fine 誰よりも大切なあなた You're more precious than anyone

I think this is pretty self-explanatory.

In summary, even though I initially ran away from this opportunity to work on this cover together,

"(It) Felt like this duet was a long time coming. 🥺💜"

🎮 Gaming 🎮

Played Forza Horizon 6 and Risk of Rain 2! Not being familiar with the car upgrades in Forza and items in Risk of Rain has finally started to set off alarm bells in my brain, so I might take time this week to learn more.

For now, I'm enjoying the sky in Forza very much. 🥹💜