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Contrails: Sep/Oct '26, Week 5
I might never figure out how to name these weeks that cross over months. 🤣 I still had dizzy spells here and there, but the good news is that it happens less often now! Seeing moving sources of light with high contrast seems to set it off, so I'll try to take it easy on my eyes for another week.
🌙 Work 🌙
Spent most of my week catching up on chores, and just a little on my next project. Trying my best to stay motivated despite the ambiguous timelines. If I just do what I can every day, I'm sure I'll be alright with the outcome in the end! 🥺
🎮 Gaming 🎮
It was a good week in Forza Horizon 6 for me!
Redid the upgrades and tuning of my 1997 Mitsubishi Montero Evolution, and had such a blast driving it! 💖
Finished setting Clean Lap Times for all the Rivals races!
Earned enough CR to get my hands on the McLaren F1 GT! The unobstructed driver's view is great! Also, the engine sounds don't scare me as much as the open 2019 Ferrari Monza SP2. 🤣🤣🤣 Is it my new favorite car? No. But I'm happy to have it in my roster!
Played lots of Valheim too, but I'm starting to feel burnt out, so I hope to finish the game soon. (C'mon, friends!!! 💀) Made arrangements to play Solasta II with friends after we're done with our respective games so that I have something to look forward to. 🥺
Returned to Sonic Racing: CrossWorlds for the 2nd Miku Festival on Saturday morning! I was having a tough time relearning how to drive, but I got the hang of it eventually! I think most of the people playing now are just regulars because I no longer saw new/ less experienced players in the races. Is the game dying? We'll see.
Anyway, I'm 1k tickets away from getting the title I want from Wave's friendship rewards! ✨ I think I will wait for the next festival to get it :)
Played The Sims 4 a little on Sunday night while my partner and I were taking a break from Valheim. My Sim has finally reached old age, and her doggo has passed, so I'll be done with the game soon. 🤣
🐰 IRL 🐰
A few notable things happened this week that I'd like to jot down for posterity:
Wednesday: Met my partner in town for Fish & Chips because he had to spend the night working at a client's. Tried (rather dry) mushy peas for the first time! It was okay. Would have preferred if it wasn't mushed, I think. 🤔
Friday: I used a Picrew to make a new Discord display picture. It felt strangely validating. I wondered about my identity. There's no doubt in my mind that I'm my gender assigned at birth. But when I attempted to talk to myself as 2 people, suddenly my internal struggles felt so much clearer. I'm not sure how long this clarity will last, but it doesn't bother me that I feel stronger simply because I stopped thinking I had to be whole. In a strange way, I felt like "I" finally saw and heard "me" -- and it's okay that "I" was different, because in either case "I" am still "me". The part of me that had been around since my younger days, the times I felt like I was watching a movie and "I" was being driven around, the vivid wishes that someone would hold me and take me away, the parts of me that felt removed from some experiences, the earliest memories before I even knew how to word the feeling better than, "I feel like I came from another world." It was always there. They were always there. He was always there. I am gladly female. I dress up and sincerely hope that people would think I'm pleasing to look at. Yet, deep down, "I" continue to smile with a pained expression. It hurts. But life's good, so that's okay. Maybe that's my superpower.
Saturday: I was recovering from an episode of hypoglycemia (triggered by my bubble tea, I think), and smashed my favorite FFXIV glass when attempting to wash it. I couldn't focus, and still had difficulty controlling my hands strength, so I flung the glass. It hit the side of the sink and shattered all over the sink, kitchen counter and floor. It wasn't great quality glass, so there were a lot of glass shards that were as small and thin as dust/ glitter. It took a lot of effort to safely and thoroughly clean up the mess, but I was strangely calm and unemotional about it. I miss my glass, especially this morning when I had to find a replacement. But my mind had already "simulated" that scene as I picked up the drying cloth, so I wasn't even surprised when the loud smash resounded through the house. All I said was, "Ah..."
Sunday: My partner and I found that a mud dauber wasp had attempted to make a nest right outside our door (attempted, because it seemed abandoned). It was disgusting. We've since safely smashed the nest and doused it in insecticide, but I'll need to take time today to clear out the remains before the mud stains our white paint. 🥹
... and that's it for the week!
~💜~
Hopes for this week
♪ Edit vocals!
☆ Try not to gain weight (lol)
☆ No dizzy spells? :D
☆ Play Valheim (and finish it?)
☆ Play The Sims 4 (and finish it?)
☆ Play Forza
☆ Catch iii-Initiative! Looking forward to updates for Windrose!
Thank you for reading! 🌙🐰
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