Looking back: Mar '25, Week 3

What a week! There was a monsoon surge this week with crazy heavy thunderstorms, so I cancelled plans to go to the local aviary and visited shopping malls instead. :) But despite being indoors, I think I got to do quite a lot of things this week!

✨ Video projects -- Worked on a cute video commission and recorded my flesh-self for a collab cover

After so many weeks of focusing on audio, it was refreshing to focus on visual details instead! I think both videos turned out pretty cool, so I can't wait for everyone to get to see them!

The video of my flesh self won't be on my YouTube channel, but I'll still add it to my cover playlist and share it on my socials!

Here's a sneak peek of my outfit:

NGL I was a little sad that the layers weren't very noticeable, but it's okay! It's the music that I'm excited about! ⭐️

Flesh-self cover vid should be out some time in the first half of April! Please look forward to it! 💜

✨ Gaming -- Spent quite a lot of time hitting a striking dummy in FFXIV and guzzling potions in Don't Starve Together.

In a few hours from time of writing, FFXIV servers will be offline for a 24 hour maintenance for the implementation of Patch 7.2. Every raid tier I get super anxious because I don't think I'm a good raider, but I have a static with friends I don't want to disappoint. 🥺 This tier, I've agreed to play a ranged DPS (D3) so that a freshie Paladin friend could join us, and so that another friend joining us for the first time as a healer can pick their own co-healer.

My internal state this whole week.

The last time I played as a D3, was during a raid tier where a dancer main commented... that I wasn't a good dancer. 🥹🥹🥹 I keep being told it's an easy job to play by friends, yet I struggled with it's resource management so much that I tended to tunnel on my DPS and got raid mechanics wrong. Sure, it was my first ever savage raid, and it was within the first few months that I started playing FFXIV, so maybe I was simply "noob" back then.

But it's been 5 years since... and for 5 years I've avoided playing it. Have I improved enough as a player to not be a liability this time? 🥺🥺🥺 Pray for me. :(

So if you see me playing FFXIV for the next 2 months, there is a high chance that I am either preparing for raid, raiding, or hitting a striking dummy. (Yes, I know that the best practice is to actually do a fight, but I hit striking dummies every raid tier because I don't trust myself to hit the right skills while my brain is focused on raid mechanics. 🤔)

Now for more light-hearted matters, I've been playing Don't Starve Together more this week! Finally got to do some slightly harder fights, and Wendy is pretty fun to play! I get to think about what potions to use on Abigail and for myself for any fight, and even though a more straightforward approach is easier on the brain (bring gear, deal damage, recover HP, win eventually), this has been quite refreshing! 10/10 would play Wendy again if I'm looking to play a chill game with some friends. :)

Also, who doesn't like giant veggies? 💖

Yes, Wendy-enjoyers rejoice: Abigail can be something cooler than a ghost now. 💖

Looking at giant veggies makes me miss Wormwood though. Maybe I'll change out after defeating a few more bosses.

✨ Birthday things -- Ate food, received well-wishes and presents, felt blessed.

It was a nice weekend! Thank you for all the well-wishes! Just wanted to preface this section because it might be too dark for some. Please skip this section if you're not in a good headspace!

From top-left to bottom-right: The present that my mother left on a chair outside my door; tendon that I had for lunch; instant noodles the way my helper used to prepare it on my birthday when I came home from school; cake that Yuraia and I brought home, with Bonnie the Bun Bag, that I caught from a claw catcher in 3 tries on the way home, holding the Monster Hunter Wilds controller that Yuraia got for my birthday. 💜

My birthday is always bittersweet, because when I was 6, I learned that it can be inappropriate to be happy for someone when someone else is suffering that very moment. This year, like most other years, while I was receiving well-wishes from friends and loved ones on my birthday, my extended family was visiting my grandfather's grave - he passed on a Monday, and my 7th birthday was that Wednesday. We weren't close, but spending "my day" sitting in front of my grandfather's coffin left a deep impression on me - deeper than I could comprehend as I grew up. (I was told that it was tradition to watch the coffin to make sure evil spirits didn't possess the loved one's body to whisk it away. As a young child who could be taken out of school for the whole week, I had all the time to be on watch duty and to fold offerings to be burned during burial.)

I cry every birthday because while I'm trying to belittle myself, to remind myself of my place in the world, that I'm just one in 8 billion, and that the validity of my happiness is subject to external appropriation... it is on this day that I get reminded that there are people who are willing to be happy on my behalf. That they remember I exist, and they want me to know that. (I'm tearing up now just recalling reading the card that I received from my mother this weekend.)

So to those of you who noticed it was my birthday, and made it a point to wish me well, thank you. I'm not trying to overstate my importance to others. I am just truly, deeply appreciative of good will. Even if it was a simple "oh, happy birthday", a thought still crossed someone's mind to say it for me to hear. The moment happened because our paths crossed, and it was a positive interaction at that point in time. So... what is there not to be grateful for? (Of course, unless the person said it with ill-intent... but I received none of that this weekend, I think!)

But enough sad thoughts! I had a good day! Plus, I got to have cake again with my family the next day when my brother's family came over to have lunch. :) Was surprised that my sis-in-law remembered that I like Black Forest cake. 🥹🥹🥹💖

~💜~

Hopes for this week

♪ Finish a sewing project that I must get done before this week.

♪ Alter my cosplay costume for a shoot happening next week.

♪ Rest my ears as much as possible - it's getting better but is still very sensitive to noise.

☆ FFXIV: Prepare (crafting and MSQ) for raid... and try to keep my anxiety at bay so that anxiety attacks don't get out of hand. Hope to at least be able to eat and sleep well. Deep breaths!!!

Thank you for reading! 🌙🐰